
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1547756.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Les_Misérables_-_All_Media_Types, Les_Misérables_(2012), Les_Misérables_-
      Victor_Hugo
  Relationship:
      Enjolras/Grantaire, Enjolras_&_Grantaire
  Character:
      Enjolras_(Les_Misérables), Grantaire_(Les_Misérables), Jean_"Jehan"
      Prouvaire, Combeferre_(Les_Misérables), Courfeyrac_(Les_Misérables),
      Eponine_(Les_Miserables), actually_all_of_Les_Amis, they_are_briefly
      mentioned_though
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Alternate_Universe_-_Student/
      Teacher, Established_Relationship_(eventually), First_Kiss, First_Time,
      Unrequited_Love_(just_for_split_second_though), Fluff, Fluff_and_Smut,
      Non-binary_character, genderqueer_character_who's_not_Jehan, seriously,
      actually_it's_Eponine, Smut, Anal_Sex, bottom!enjolras, top!grantaire,
      Oral_Sex, just_sexy_sex, I_suck_at_tags_aren't_I?, Depression, mentions
      of_self_harm, mentions_of_previous_drugs_use_and_drug_addiction, shitload
      of_triggers_but_only_for_a_tiny_bit, sorry_-_Freeform
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-04-30 Updated: 2014-09-28 Chapters: 8/? Words: 7419
****** Never Say Die ******
by learninghowtobreathe
Summary
     Grantaire is an art teacher in Enjolas' high school.
     Lots of sex ensues.
Notes
     Yes. Yes, I put my fics on hiatus so I could write this. Yes, I also
     put my fucking novel on hiatus so I could write this. Can you blame
     me?
     This fic happened because both me and Jinx suffer from lack of
     Teacher/Student AUs in this fandom.
     -----------------------------------
     This fic is dedicated to my wonderful friends – Jinx and Keisha who I
     hope like what I've done there with our barricade boys :)
     -----------------------------------
     EDIT: now betad!
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Obsession, it takes control *****
Grantaire always considered himself a sensible man.
Of course he has had his ups and downs, with battling depression it was to be
expected, he supposed. After all no one wins with depression forever. There was
also his drinking, though he mostly controlled it now. But beside this, he was
sensible, he could take care of himself and he thought of himself as immune to
the majority of stupid ideas. He had an apartment he was comfortable in, he had
his painting, though it never become more than a hobby. He couldn't afford a
career as unpredictable as being an artist, not without any support from his
family. He managed to graduate from university, though it took him longer than
his friends and he couldn't really say he worked hard. But now he was living on
his own and he has steady job as an art teacher in nerby high school, and
couldn't really complain.
Everything was well. Everything, but...
Well, everything but the fact that he somehow managed to develop a crush on one
of his students.
That was kinda a problem.
It wouldn't be that bad, if it was only him, only his 'innocent' – well, not
exactly innocent granting he was turning 28 next month – crush he could try to
overcome and forget.
But it wasn't just some regular student he had crush on, no. It was Enjolras.
Unbelievably beautiful, unbelievably smart, golden god, Apollo Enjolras, who
smiled at him with his brillinat, insolent smile, who argued with him during
every lesson, who provoked him all the time.
Enjolras with his unruly locks looking as if they were made of the finest silk,
with his dreamy eyes full of fire and his pale, creamy skin.
And, if it wasn't bad enough, Enjolras seemed to reciprocate his feelings.
Actually, no. "Seemed" was an understatement. Who showed Grantaire at every
minute that he wants a place not only in his bed, but also in his heart.
Who stayed after lesson and helped him clean up, set easels in order, washed
brushes, cleaned the paint stains, and who dropped not-even-slightly subtle
hints all the time. Who crossed any and every boundary, brushing his hands over
Grantaire's arms or staring him straight in the eyes.
But it was just plain wrong, okay?
Grantaire was 28. For God's sake, he was almost thirty. And he was teaching
there! It was his job, and he fucking needed that job. He couldn't afford
getting fired for seducing some kid.
Because that's Enjolras was. A kid.
He certainly shouldn't have fantasies about him spread naked on his bed.
The thing was, that Enjolras wasn't just some kid. That was whole problem. He
could refuse some random kid. But he couldn't say no to Enjolras.
So, you see, Grantaire was so, so fucked.
There he was, lying on his bed, the same bed he imagined Enjolras spread on;
with hands under his head, dressed in too big black shirt and jeans who was
gradually becoming tighter in certain places.
It was 7am and his first class started at 9. He should be getting ready, and
instead he was lying there; daydreaming and sinking into a pit self-hatred.
He really should do something with it. With his feelings. He was losing control
dangerously fast. He couldn't sleep, couldn't do anything, and, what was worse,
the most embarassing, couldn't concentrate while in lessons with Enjolras'
class.
Other classes wasn't that bad. He set the topic and sat at* his desk,
sketching, or even painting sometimes, taking breaks and helping his students,
giving them advice and correcting mistakes. Most of students loved him, being
the cool teacher, with his tattoos and piercings – luckily the dress code at
his school was almost nonexistent – and with his witty sense of humor. He was
always nice to his students; he generally liked his job and actualy loved
working with teenagers.
What was surprising was that he was the teacher students were came to with
personal problems, looking for understanding. And R has been through too much
shit in his life to not understand. He tried to help those kids as much as he
could, and when he couldn't he tried at least to listen to them.
So usually his job was okay. Even better than okay.
And then there were lessons with Enjolras' class.
They were in their final year of high school, most of them had turned 18
already and were legally adults. A couple of them wanted to apply for art
schools, and were really good artist. He really enjoyed working with them,
helping them with their final projects.
Enjolras was one of the youngest in his class, still 17, but he sure as hell
didn't act it. He was so confident, sitting cross legged over at his easel,
golden locks tied in a bun, his red shirt a bright spot over the background of
the white canvas. Grantaire could imagine him right now, his cheeky smile,
piercing eyes, the way he looked at him over his lashes, teasingly licking his
lips. There was nothing modest about it, all his behaviour screamed pure
seduction.
Grantaire groaned and got up off the bed, knocking down his sketchbook.
Sketchbook filled with rough sketches and painstakingly detailed portraits of
Enjolras.
He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. There was no point in lying, he
was trying to look his best. He wasn't actually vain, but knew he handsome; for
God's sake he had worked as a model briefly during his uni years. He knew what
his advantages were, so now he tamed his locks a bit, so they wasn't so unruly,
and framed his eyes in black eyeliner.
He put on his worn leather jacket and went out.
He was screwed anyway.
Maybe it was time to search for another job.
***** I can't say the words out loud, *****
Chapter Notes
     First of all I really apologise for all mistakes in chapter 1, I have
     beta now so it'll be fixed as soon as I can. I forgot to add a
     disclaimer that English is not my native language, but anyway, thanks
     for spotting errors and letting me know :)
     Second – I've been given fantastic idea to include Eponine in all the
     incoming sex, so yay, you can await that!
     I know all this fic is a bit cliche, but oh well, we all need good,
     old fashioned fluff sometimes :)
     ------------------------------------
     Thanks to my wonderful beta for all her help and my friends to give
     me support and love! <3
     -------------
     EDIT: sorry for messing up pronouns and thanks for spotting it. As I
     said, English is not my first language and sometimes I mess things up
     when in rush (or drunk. Sorry, yesterday I've been really really
     drunk)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
CHAPTER 2: I can't say the words out loud,
He arrived to school early. His class was empty, so he sat over the desk and
tried to calm down his nerves. The air was full of the familiar scent of paint
and turpentine and he breathed deeply.
When door opened he almost jumped, startled, but soon realized it was just
Eponine, one of his best, most talented students, who wanted to apply for
graphic design as xe planned to be a tattoo designer. Right now xe was working
over xyr final project, a huge self portrait, which was now leaned over the
wall in the corner.
Eponine, dressed in skinny jeans with holes on the knees and an unbuttoned
plaid shirt, threw xyr huge backpack on the floor near xyr easel and smiled to
him. Xyr lips were slightly swollen and bruised in the perfect shade of deep
purple.
“Eponine.” He smiled back, frowning. “What happened to you?”
Xe laughed, delicate giggle and ran xyr hand over xyr dark red bangs sticking
out from the black beanie. “Got my lip pierced.” Xe shrugged. “It should look
better soon.”
“I certainly hope so.” Grantaire found himself smiling even wider. “We don't
want repeat what happened when you got tongue stud.”
“It wasn't that bad.” Eponine shrugged again, lifting xyr painting and setting
it on an easel. “Didn't have to talk to people for a month, that was
refreshing.”
Grantaire was just about to answer, when bell rang and students started to
coming into class. His group was little, with only 9 students in it, and
everyone was already in, save for Enjolras.
Grantaire found himself nervous.
He was going to do something today. He didn't know yet what was this something
supposed to be, but he was sure he needed to change something.
After almost year of pinning he was tired. He needed a change. Damn this all,
he was a great teacher, he could find another job.
Ten minutes passed, with all his students slowly immersing into their work.
Grantaire was sketching with charcoal, to kill time, but he couldn't find place
for himself. He was angry at himself. He desperately needed both a drink and
cigarette. Would it be really unprofessional to smoke over the window in class
full of his students? Probably yes, he wondered, staring blankly at page before
him, with half finished sketch of Enjolras standing with his arm propped on his
hip and smiling crooked smile. He probably shouldn't do in in class where
everyone was to see, but damn, his hand seemingly has life of it's own.
Just when he was going to snap and smoke after all, doors opened, revealing
very late, and not caring at all Enjolras. He was dressed in skinny jeans and
red v-neck with his curls braided and tied with matching red ribbon, and smiled
knowing smile at Grantaire, who couldn't help but to stare. He went slowly to
his place, swaying his hips and brushing R's arm with his pale hand at the way.

It was the last, tiny thing, that broke Grantaire's resistance, and cursing all
world under his breath he decided to give up all his hopes.
“Enjolras.” His voice turned out a bit shaky, so he swallowed and tried again.
“Enjolras.”
“Yes, monsieur Grantaire?” Enjolras' voice on his part was almost mocking.
“Stay after class.” R was almost proud of how composed he sounded in his own
ears.
“Of course.” He honest to God bowed.
Grantaire almost groaned at the sight, but somehow he managed to calm down and
sit behind his desk again. The rest of the lesson passed in silence, as he
finished his sketch. Luckily none of his students needed his help today, so
when bell rang and everyone started to leave he was still almost completely
calm and composed, or at least as much as he could be in Enjolras' presence.
He walked slowly to Grantaire's desk, smiling and looking him straight into the
eyes and all Grantaire's composure went to hell.
“You wanted to see me?” Enjolras' voice was still on the edge of mockery.
“Yes.” He found himself lacking words. “Enjolras, listen, we...you...we
can't...”
He looked up, and Enjolras' face caught him of the gurard, his expression
suddenly vunerable. He was worrying his lower lip between his teeth and looking
at him with such an unsure look, it made Grantaire want to wrap his arms around
him and comfort him. He reminded himself that Enjolras was barely 18, just a
teenager, and that they both played dangerous game.
“Listen.” He said, suddenly sure of what he wanted to say. “It can't go on like
this. I may lose my job. However... the school year ends in three weeks.”
Enjolras looked at him with such hope in his eyes he couldn't believe it was
the same boy who used to seduce him literally every day of the year.
“We...We obviously can't be seen here...” He stated, unsure what to say next.
“But...”
Enjolras' abrupt movement caught him off guard. The younger man ran his fingers
over his hand with the unsure action of trembling digits. He ended up entwining
their fingers together.
And then everything happened so fast.
Grantaire groaned “Oh, damn it,” as he wrapped his hand gently over Enjolras'
neck, bringing their lips together.
The kiss was chaste, barely a touch of lips, but then Enjolras was moaning,
broken sound in the silence of the classroom and their kiss turned heated, lips
crashing, tongues fighting for dominance.
Stopping seemed impossible and Grantaire had no idea how he found the strength
to do so.
“We can't kiss here.” He whispered, tangling his fingers in Enjolras' hair, now
a let loose, mess of golden ringlets.
“But...”
“Wait for me after your classes.” He dropped a last gentle kiss on his lips.
“I never really believed you reciprocate my feelings.” Enjolras' voice was
almost broken, full of disbelief.
“Are you kidding me?” R rolled his eyes, trying to overcome sudden desire to
laugh. He felt so ridiculously happy, so light, like all his dreams came true
all at one.
Cause they did. “Have you seen yourself? Who could say no to you?”
“I thought that you...”
“Wait for me after your classes.” Grantaire repeated, kissing him again.
Bell rang, disturbing them, as they kissed for the last time.
As Enjolras left the classroom Grantaire fall back on his chair, putting his
head over his hands and laughing to himself.
He couldn't believe his luck.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you for all kudos and comments!
     ------------------------------------
     In next chapter - smut!
     Omg it was so long since I'd written honest to God porn! I hope I
     remember how sex works xd
***** I guess it's love, I can't pretend. *****
Chapter Notes
     First of all – sorry for late update. I've been on unexpected trip in
     Paris.
     Which being said, I walked over the streets our boys walked over,
     I've seen Victor Hugo's house and I kinda got SO MANY IDEAS for this
     fic I literally have no idea what to choose (no speaking I cried so
     hard xd).
     So, even though I basically planned this fic to be only 3 chapters
     and more like PWP, I decided to expand it :D
     Should I be sorry for this? I probably should xd Well, I'm going to
     hell anyway.
     Sorry it's so hopelessly romantic, I needed some fluff in my life.
     All feedback and constructive critics are appreciated!
     --------------------
     UPDATE: Now betad!
It was legitimately the longest day in Grantaire's life.
He ran his lessons – or rather sat by his desk and desperately tried not to
grin – helped his students with their projects, and even managed to leave class
and get himself coffee, while catching a glimpse of Enjolras’ wild hair on the
corridor. He used all his will not to go after him, but go back to class and
run the lesson like nothing ever happened.
But he was just a man, right? He could only stand so much. So when 3 pm. struck
on his watch, he put card saying that his afternoon classes were cancelled
today on his door and almost ran through school's corridor, stopping only when
he reached the courtyard outside.
Enjolras was waiting for him.
He was leaning over the column there, his arms crossed, hair loose and falling
to his shoulders. His face lit up as he saw Grantaire and he came to him
without a word and followed him into the streets. They walked in silence.
 
The way to his apartment never seem to Grantaire so long, and granted that he
used to walk there high, drunk or both at the same time in the  past it was
certainly something.
Next to him Enjolras was casting him unsure glances, all his confidence
suddenly lost. He looked younger than usually, his hair a mess and his lips red
from biting on them, not like the almost-adult he was, but a lost child.
Somehow it didn't make R feel as guilty as he supposed he should feel, given
what he was doing. Was he seducing a child? Or maybe being seduced by child? He
wasn't sure.
Instead of dwelling on these thoughts, he simply caught Enjolras' hand in his
and gave him a reassuring smile before speeding up.
When they finally reached the building, he was sure years had passed. He
fumbled for the key in his pockets, opened the door and let them in. And then
found himself lost at sea.
They were looking at each other awkwardly, standing in the doorway, not knowing
what to do.
“So...” he started, not sure what to say.
“So...” Enjolras was worrying his lower lip between his teeth again, and R
found himself hypnotized by it.
He bowed gently and put a chaste kiss on Enjolras' lips.
A slim hand tangled in his hair and R felt his heart swell.
Damn. He was so hopelessly in love with this kid, it was ridiculous.
He navigated them gently towards bedroom, when suddenly Enjolras pulled off and
looked at him with huge, unsure eyes.
“Wait.” He frowned.
Grantaire found himself reciprocating the frown. “What is it?” He asked gently.
“You...We...You're not playing me, right?” He asked, his voice breaking at the
end of the sentence.
“Oh god.” It took all Grantaire's willpower not to laugh. “You're not as
confident as you like to act, are you?” He smiled, taking boy's chin in his
hand lightly to make him look in his eyes.
“Not really, no.” He admitted, trying to avoid his sight. “But...”
“No.” He interrupted. “I'm not playing you. I'm ddesperately trying to prevent
myself from falling in love with you, but I guess it's too late for that.”
The teen's eyes turned even bigger as he blinked several times, trying to
understand what he had just heard.
“Oh.”
“Oh indeed.” R laughed silently, kissing him again, this time more firm.
They kissed for some time, more slow and intimate this time. When they broke
for air Enjolras looked dazed.
Grantaire took him by slightly trembling hand and led to the bedroom, making
him sit on the edge of the bed and sitting next to him, lacing their fingers
together.
“What are we going to do with it?” He asked gently. “School's year ends in
three weeks. You're graduating. It's all up to you now.”
Enjolras seemed to be getting back some of his confidence.
“So we could...?” He looked at R expectantly. Grantaire nodded, asking himself
silently what the hell was he doing right now. Not that he was going to stop.
Then suddenly Enjolras' hands were in his hair, tugging gently, and his lips
were on his, kissing him in the way he thought all their kisses would be,
heated and insistent. One of his hands wandered from R's locks to his chest and
tugged at the material of his t shirt, and he broke the kiss to laugh
breathlessly and take it off, making Enjolras to do the same. He moved on the
centre of the bed, sitting by the headboard and lifted Enjolras so he was
sitting on his lap, absentmindedly realising how skinny and light he was.
Grantaire tangled his hand in Enjolras' hair, tugging hard and making him arch
his head back and attacked his neck with feather light kisses and bites just as
he wanted to do every day for the last year. This elicited a pretty moan, so he
continued, as Enjolras' hands roamed over his chest.
His inexperienced hands skimmed over his nipple just as he bit at teen's
earlobe and their moans mixed in the air.
“Wait.” R's lips hovered milimeters over Enjolras'. “Wait. Is it your first
time?”
Maybe he was insane, he thought, but at least he has some last tiny parts of
responsibility left.
Enjolras' eyes were clouded as he nodded once, sharply.
“We'll go slow then, okay?” He asked, kissing him gently.
To his surprise the teen's lips turned into an adorable pout.
“But I don't want to go slow.” He kissed him, fierce almost angry kiss. “I've
wanted you for so long.”
“I'm not going anywhere.” He reciprocated the kiss, petting his hair gently.
“And it's not like it's going to be only time we're doing this. Plus...” He
hesitated for a while. “I've wanted you to. Want you.” He corrected himself.
“Oh.”
Instead of answering R kissed him again, lifting him up again (Jesus, was this
kid even eating?) and undressed him completely.
Sitting in front of him, Enjolras was hard and so stunningly beautiful
Grantaire couldn't really believe his luck. He told him so, watching as the
teen blushed adorably at his words.
He took a minute to undress himself and roam in the drawer in search for lube,
then he was back and attacked Enjolras with kisses. He still couldn't believe
he was really doing this.
He stretched him open, distracting him with kisses and murmuring sweet nothings
to his ear, as Enjolras moaned into his lips and writhed under his
ministrations.
As R finally pushed into him they were both short for breath.
As Enjolras rode him with his head thrown back and golden locks falling over
his back, all his inhibitions went to hell and Grantaire found himself
whispering words of love into the boy’s skin, not caring at all it was their
first time. He loved this boy for so long, why would he stop himself from
telling him?
As Enjolras came he whispered “I love you” into his skin.
As they lied curled together, panting, Grantaire couldn't believed he was so
stupid for not doing it earlier.
 
“So.” Enjolras stretched over his sheets just like Grantaire had imagined him
doing so many times. “Are you my boyfriend now?”
“Don't you think I'm a bit too old to be your boyfriend?” Grantaire laughed,
pulling him in for a kiss.
“You're not old.” Enjolras pouted, curling over him in an adorable manner.
“I'm way too old for you.”
“No, you're not.” He repeated. “And even if you are, who cares? I love you.”
“I love you too.” R ruffled his hair. “And yes I am.”
Enjolras frowned.
And then he blurted out “Can move in with you?”
Grantaire blinked, surprised. “What?”
“Can I move in with you?” He repeated.
“Wh...Wait, what are your parents going to think about it?” He blinked again.
“I'm not living with my parents.” The adorable pout was back on his lips. “I
live with my dumb flatmate. I love you. You love me. I want to move in with
you.”
“Oh my god.” Grantaire couldn't help but laugh. “You're going to be the death
of me.”
“Can I?” He repeated, stubborn.
“Yes!” He rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can. I guarantee you, you'll be back to
your dumb flatmate in a week though.”
“No I won't.” Enjolras kissed him, content, smiling brightly, and curled up
tightly, even closer to him.
Grantaire rolled his eyes again, not believing what his life has become.
But he was happy. He was so, so happy.
How could he not be?

***** “We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces” *****
Chapter Summary
     All R wanted was to kiss him all over just now and there. And maybe
     took to some empty class for a quick fuck. Yes, that was a nice idea.
Chapter Notes
     I won't lie, I wrote this chapter while being extremelly high. I
     don't even know what I took, I mixed everything I had. So please
     forgive me all mistakes and all, concrit like always appreciated.
     Also, I took a lot of liberty here and description of Enjolras'
     graduation is just a bit adjusted mine high school graduation party.
     I hope when we meet in wherever we go after death Victor Hugo won't
     hit me with a frying pan for what I've done here.
     But hey, we all know this fic is just excuse for me to make my boys
     have as much sex as possible.
     UPDATE: betad!
School was...weird. Unreal. It became so, so unreal for both of them. But it's
always like that with the beginnings of new love, isn't it?
Everything about the two of them was unreal and it didn't matter at all.
Looking back, Grantaire really wondered how come no one realized what's going
on, how come he didn't lose his job and how the hell come Enjolras didn't get
expelled from school.
Maybe he wasn't so unlucky after all, he thought.
But the day of graduation came, and there he was, sitting at his place with
other teachers, his gaze fixed only on a certain blonde student.
Enjolras was sitting by the corner of the table, and looked like he didn't care
about anything but leaving as soon as possible.
Which was absolutely true.
And which was exactly what R was feeling right now too.
Students were allowed to wear what they wanted for the less official part of
graduation – where they were now – and Enjolras was wearing jeans entirely too
tight to be decent and dark red t-shirt that made him look even paler, more
marble, and his locks like pure liquid gold streaming down his arms, with a
stray lock brushing over his visible collarbone.
All R wanted was to kiss him all over, right here and now. And maybe take him
to some empty class for a quick fuck. Yes, that was a nice idea.
He shook his head, dark ringlets went flying, trying to clear his head. God, it
was so hot, he was melting in his jeans and t-shirt, black was a bad idea, but
really, almost all his clothes were black.
The party was boring, students chatting with each other, drinking orange juice
while they looked forward for event to end so they could go and get something
with alcohol in it, teachers talking politely about nothing, everybody smiling
fake bright smiles.
Grantaire could only think about one thing.
Today was the day Enjolras was officially out of school.
Enjolras, who turned 18 three days ago.
They were legal.
It really deserved some celebration.
In bed, preferably.
Not that Grantaire was only thinking about taking his – well, boyfriend was the
word – to bed. No, he was also thinking about said boyfriend's upcoming exams,
college applications and thousands of other things.
But that, he would deal with that tomorrow.
There's always tomorrow.
“We're going to get caught.” Grantaire panted, breaking the kiss, and feeling
almost physical pain from doing so. “We're totally going to get caught.”
“Who cares.” Enjolras was placing open mouthed kisses at his neck and
collarbones as Grantaire's t-shirt got lost somewhere on the way. “I'm a
graduate now.”
“I still work there!” That was what Grantaire wanted to say, but what got lost
in the moan that broke out of his throat.
Enjolras slid down his body, maintaining eye contact for the whole time. That
was so damn erotic, R thought, he could come just from the sight. No 18 years
old boy should be that erotic, he thought, it should be banned somehow.
“You're going to be the death of me.” He said, his voice desperate, hands
already tangling in golden locks.
“I hope not.” Enjolras smiled his crooked smile. “I definitely enjoy you being
alive.”
He unzipped Grantaire's pants and pushed it down his legs along with his
underwear, he boy’s lips ghosting over the head of his cock, placing a teasing
kiss finally.
It's really fucking happening, Grantaire thought. I'm getting sucked off by my
ten years younger, gorgeous boyfriend in the art classroom of the school I work
in. It's really happening and it shouldn't turn me on, should it?
He came with a muffled shout of Enjolras' name, sliding to the floor almost
right afterwards, legs trembling. He pulled Enjolras for a messy kiss, fumbling
with his zipper, stroking him into completion in rushed strokes, exchanging
broken kisses and whispering words of love.
Enjolras came with his eyes closed, head thrown back, golden hair falling over
his arms and it was the most beautiful sight R has ever seen. He saved it to
his memory to paint one day, a painting just for the two of them.
They left the class giggling like the pair of schoolboys, fingers tangled as
school was empty and there was no one to see. And Enjolras was right, who
cared? They all could see.
“If you think I'm over with you, you've never been more wrong.” Grantaire
whispered to his golden haired lover's ear. “We're celebrating this properly in
our own bed.”
***** Two Out Of Three *****
Chapter Summary
     Enjolras tells his friends.
     It goes...oh well.
Chapter Notes
     Hi guys. I know it's been a really long since last chapter, too long,
     and I apologize sincerelly. I, well, I got bad again, and to tell the
     truth I didn't do much more than lying in bed and staring at the wall
     for most of the time. I still don't feel good, I feel like shit to be
     honest, so don't expect too much from this one. Sorry again. Forgive
     me?
     Also sorry for not much of character development here, I still don't
     have clear headcanon for Courfreyrac, but I'm getting there, I
     promise.
     Also there's non-binary Jehan cause let's face it it's almost canon.
     I'm reading brick now but I only just started so all I know comes
     from movie, polish version of musical (which by the way was fucking
     brilliant) and tumblr, so sorry if there are any mistakes. Poor
     Victor Hugo, rolling in his grave.
     In other news – I'm turning 20 on 28th, how come I ended up as a fic
     writer? God, I'm almost as old as R.
     -----------------------
     now betad, thanks to my wonderful beta Sarah, I love you, dear <3
                                 The best way
                              To make it through
                         With hearts and wrists intact
                                 Is to realize
                          Two out of three ain't bad
                                   Ain't bad
                #  FOB,I'm_Like_A_Lawyer_With_The_Way_I'm_Always_Trying_To_Get
                                       You_Off_(Me_&_You)
 
“You're seeing who?!” Combeferre's eyebrows ran so high on his forehead they
almost disappeared into his hair, clear disbelief in his voice. “But he's,
like...Old.”
“He's not old.” Enjolras rolled his eyes. “And I'm telling this to you three
because I actually wanted some, I don't know, understanding?”
“He's a little bit old though.” Courfreyrac's voice was warm with a hint of
laughter, like usual. “What possessed you?”
Enjolras shrugged, not sure what to say.
The truth was, he wasn't sure telling his friends who was he dating was a good
idea, but he felt awful lying to them. They didn't deserve lies, and lies never
really fit his straightforward, bold nature.
Also... He was pretty sure he was in love. And being in love was a huge thing.
A thing you tell your best friends about. Especially when such love is
reciprocated. Right?
And it wasn't like being with Grantaire was so easy to hide either.
So there he was.
“Enjolras.” Jehan was looking at him with their huge, puppy-like eyes. Their
hair was braided neatly with white ribbon and some daisies today and they were
playing with it as they spoke. “No one's judging you here.”
“Combeferre's totally judging me.” Enjolras rolled his eyes again.
“It looks like you went a bit insane, you know?” the man in question looked him
in the eye. “We're your friends. We love you. We care for you...”
“What is this,an intervention?” Enjolras frowned. “Are you kidding me?”
“We're just scared he may be taking advantage of you.” Combeferre shrugged.
Courfreyrac nodded cautiously, eyeing Jehan who was staring down in their
coffee cup.
“Come on, you're not serious.” He sighed. “R would never take advantage of me.
He's good, he's caring, he's...”
Courfreyrac raised his eyebrows tutting. “Someone's in love.”
Enjolras blushed, staring at the table in front of him.
“You're all crazy, I'm leaving.” Combeferre rolled his eyes, standing. “Come
back when you find your sanity.”
Enjolras felt like punching the wall. It wasn't supposed to go like this, they
seemed to have major communication issues. Did no one understand him? Was he
speaking different language?
“I should probably go with him.” Courfreyrac's voice shook him out of his
thoughts.
“Sure.” He said bitterly.
“Listen, man, I don't judge you, and honestly, I think that it's your and only
your business who you date, it's just...”
“It's just you have huge crush on 'ferre.” Enjolras laughed, feeling a bit
better. “Go.”
“We're cool?”
“We're cool.”
He grabbed his coat and left. Enjolras and Jehan looked at each other in
awkward silence.
“So...”
“So...”
They both smiled somehow forced smiles.
“So.” Jehan started once again, blushing nice shade of pale pink. “You are,
like...dating, like...since we were yet at school?”
“Yup.” It was Enjolras' turn to blush.
“Oh.” The younger one fiddled with their braid, playing with the light purple
strands. “That's...that's actually kinda hot. Weird, but hot.”
“Yup.” Enjolras didn't quite know what to say. “I'm living at his place now.”
He added after a while.
“You...what? Oh. Oh! That's why you move out, right? Of our place, I mean.”
“Well...Yes.” He admitted after a brief pause. “But not entirely. It's not like
Combeferre didn't ask me to see if Coufreyrac could move in.”
“I knew it!” Jehan exclaimed and then quickly covered his mouth. “It wasn't
supposed to come out like that.”
“Easy, I know about the bets thing.” Enjolras shrugged. Eponine told him before
school ending that xe and Jehan were making bets about progress in Combeferre
and Coufreyrac's relationship, and honestly he considered it rather amusing.
“How is it going, anyway?”
“'Ponine owes me a lot.” They shrugged. “But I think I'm going to 'forget'
about it for a while since xe's broke.”
Enjolras smiled to himself. He always supposed Jehan was a bit into Eponine,
seeing from how they always blushed and stuttered when talking with xem.
“Does your mum know?” Asked Jehan after a moment of silence.
Enjolras shook his head. “She would probably have a heart attack. She thinks I
still live with you and let’s let it stay like that for a while, okay?”
“Sure thing.” Jehan smiled.
“Thanks. Listen, I have to go, I start work in couple of hours and promised R
to be home for dinner so...”
Jehan stood up, smiling. “Say hello to him from me. Or will it be too weird him
being a teacher and all?” They were blushing again.
“I will say hi.” Enjolras hugged them before leaving, then he rushed home.
It didn't go that bad after all, he thought to himself.
 
 
***** “If my love is a weapon there's no second guessing when I say” *****
Chapter Summary
     Grantaire comforts Enjolras after confrontation with his friends.
     It ends up...interesting.
Chapter Notes
     I have no idea what I'm doing here. I am very, very drunk and it's
     just an idea which popped into my head and refused to leave. Sorry
     about everything.
     Just kidding. I'm not sorry.
     You should see me as I sit here, drink vodka with apple juice, and
     swear so loudly my sister hit me with a pillow and told me I need
     Jesus.
     ------------
     as usually - unbetad with my comments for your entertaintment until
     my beta will...well - beta it.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 As Enjolras entered the apartment, Grantaire was sitting on the kitchen
counter, his legs hanging near the floor, and sketching something
absentmindedly while drinking beer straight from the bottle.
Some Metallica song was playing in the background, and he smiled at the wave of
domesticity flowing over him.
“Hi.” He smiled even wider at a sight of a spark in R's eyes. It was still so
unfamiliar to him, seeing someone he loved with his whole heart genuinely happy
at his sight.
“Hi, Apollo.” Grantaire smirked and took a sip from his bottle. “How the
meeting went?”
“Could be worse.” He couldn't suppres a frown. “They were...I guess 'shocked'
would be a word.”
“C'mere.” R put out his bottle and reached an arm in Enjolras' direction.
Soon blond haired boy found himself in tight embrace and he realized he never
was more grateful in his life. He put his head on Grantaire's arm and let his –
was boyfriend a word? - comfort him and run his warm hands over his back in
soothing manneer.
“Thanks.” He sighed.
“It was to be expected, you know.” R's voice was somehow bitter, though he
tried to stay calm. “I'm way too old for you.”
“No you're not.” Enjolras stood on tiptoes and placed a kiss on his jaw. “And
it really doesn't matter.”
“It matters to people, though.” Older boy shrugged. (can I still refer to him
as a boy? I'm so confused here...)“But don't worry about it now, okay?”
“Okay.” Enjolras mumbled, leaning in for a kiss.
The kiss which started as gentle and comforting soon grew to passionate play of
lips on lips, tangled tongues and fight for domination.
It was always like that with them, lust and passion so intense that unable to
contain. They were in this phase of relationship when people rarely leave
bedroom, yes, but it was much more, two soulmates who found themselves in cold
world, two bodies completely compatible, two lovers rushing to show their
affection and feelings.
Soon Grantaire had Enjolras all flushed and pliant, pressed tightly to him as
to touch as more skin as possible and already starting sliding his plaid shirt
off his arms.
“Eager, huh?” He laughed.
“Missed you.” Younger boy mumbled.
“You were out for two hours.” He all but purred the words into his ears,
licking at his earlobe and biting gently.
“Too long.” Enjolras tried to shrug but his arms got caught at shirt Grantaire
was trying to take off of him and they both started to giggling.
Enjolras pulled R into a kiss, as he tried to clumsily drag him into the
bedroom.
Grantaire just shook his head and pulled him closer. Enjolras jelped (is it
written like that?? God I am so drunk xd), surprised as he was lifted and sat
on the counter.
He soon regained his confidence and wound his long, bony legs over Grantaire's
hips in attempt to drag him closer. He was however disturbed by his lover
unbuckling his belt and dragging down his pants and underwear, leaving him
stark naked on the kitchen counter.
(I don't care it defies gravity to get one undressed why sitting on the
counter, they somehow managed it, practice makes perfect after all xd)
“I knew it was great idea to keep lube in the kitchen drawer.” Grantaire smiled
smugly, leaving Enjolras in uncontrolable fit of giggles.
Soon though he had his squirming on his fingers and biting his lips until he
drew blood. Enjolras moaned breathily (is this even a word???)as he added
second and then third, all when cooing at him, kissing him gently and
whispering words of love.
“Gr...'Taire.” Younger boy breathed, trying to catch his breath. “Just get over
with it.”
“As you wish.” Grantaire smirked again.
(How the hell counter sex even works? Help!)
He entered him with a moan loud enough to be heard by all their neighbours but
he didn't give a fuck. He kissed another moan from Enjolras' lips, swallowing
all the sounds as he set his pace.
He had Enjolras squirming and begging him, completely incoherent and blushed
prettily all over his pale body. His locks were bouncing with his every move,
damp with sweat and clinging to his temple and arms. He reached with one hand
and wound one golden lock around his finger, wondering in haze if he was
developing some kind of hair fetish toward Enjolras' hair.
Words slurring out of his lover's mouth caught his attention and got him
stunned suddenly, caught halfway his movement.
“Oh god I swear 'Taire I love you so much.”
There it was, between his eyes – or rather ears – happening in this very
moment, first love confession he heard from boy he loved with all his soul and
this was what made it for him and suddenly he was coming, almost incoherent
words falling from his lips forming the only sentence he could think about.
“Love you too, loved you for so long, can't believe you're mine.”
 
As they were coming down from their high, snuggled tight on the main room
carpet, too exhausted to make it to bedroom, Enjolras embraced Grantaire closer
and murmured.
“See? Told you. As Jehan says – love is love.”
Chapter End Notes
     Gosh, I have no idea what happened and why it ended so sappy, but ih
     well. Hope you liked it!
     If you want to see me as I drool over Aaron Tveit's pictures and try
     to reblog as much Les Mis fanart as I can while drawing my own you
     should follow me on my_tumblr or on my art_blog
***** I got troubled thoughts *****
Chapter Summary
     Time goes by...
Chapter Notes
     (title from 'what a catch, donnie' by my beloved fob)
     First of all kisses from much too sunny for my liking Croatia for all
     my wonderful readers!
     You have no idea how many porn ideas one can get while lying bored on
     the beach xd
     So, this been said, here we have summer chapter inspired by my
     awesome vacation trip with my_lovely_baby_sister (who has no idea I
     write porn, so shhhhhhh!) and my not-so-lovely-but-mostly tolerable
     dad (who has no idea either).
     I don't apologize for anything but my bad English, this being unbetad
     yet, side comments I am too lazy to get rid of and all teeth rotten
     from fluff.
     Enjoy!
     Also here goes my tiny but full of guilt disclaimer: I had
     been...well...let's say gently but firmly told (it would be rude to
     say anything more and I am not a rude person, thank you very much)
     that timeline here is a bit fucked up. I agree. It is.
     So, for it to be clear between end of the school year and them
     getting together and Enjolras moving in with R there passes more
     thank half of the year. Hence Enjloras' friends being so shocked as
     he was keeping it secret for so long. It was clear in my head but not
     in the fic so sorry about that.
     Then there passes another half of the year before this chapter.
     I hope it's clearer now, if not please let me know as timelines are
     not my best part of writing.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Days passes so quickly when you're both busy and happy. Month after month
passed summing up to one year and before they even realized, Enjolras and
Grantaire were together for almost 2 years.
Enjolra's 20th birthday were approaching quickly, and leaving him a bit
anxious. Or maybe a lot anxious. Very, very anxious.
It was just that nothing was really going as he imagined that. He didn't get to
law school immediately after graduating and spent a year working in coffee shop
on part-time and doing mostly nothing in the rest of the time. He tried to
study by himself but quickly found it wasn't as easy as it seemed and even
though he had remarkably strong will he soon gave up. He read books. He slept.
He actually slept a lot, especially when alone in the apartment as Grantaire
was working. He was meeting with friends, yes, but all of them were in college
now and they were too busy for most of the time.
And he felt guilty about this doing-nothing thing. At least he worked, and got
money so he could pay half of the rent, it made him feel a bit better.
So turning 20 wasn't actually making him that happy. Grantaire long ago stopped
telling him he was too old for him, and instead took up a charming habit of
telling him heloved him as often as he can which was unexpected to say at least
but in overall really nice.
This one particular day, two weeks before his birthday, Enjolras was sleeping
again. It was almost 4pm, and he was alone, and didn't sleep whole night cause
they went to club toghether and this morning Grantaire left to work with
terrible hangover and muttering something about how he was thankful the school
year was ending. Enjolras himself wasn't even feeling that bad, him not being a
great fan of drinking, but he was tired and bored and it was better than
sitting alone and watching TV. What woke him up was someone dropping tiny
kisses to his neck, arms and hair. It was quite nice, drifting half into sleep,
between consciousness and dream, and he didn't really intend to change his
actual state. He, however, dimly (is that the word? I mean, does it means what
I think it means??)realized, that kisses were indeed intended to wake him up,
so he made his great effort to open his eyes. Grantaire was lying in the bed
next to him, smiling blindingly (does this word even exist?? I don't have
internet access atm...).
“Hello.” He smiled even wider.
“Hi.” Enjolras mumbled, blinking. “Sorry, I planned to wake up before you come
home.”
“I came back early, it's too hot and nobody was really doing anything but
dozzing off so I let them go.” He shrugged (let's ignore here that no one can
actually shrug while lying on the side on the bed. This fic defies gravity from
start to finish.).
“Oh.” It was all his still half asleep brain could came up with.
“I have something for you.” He was still smiling like a madman and Enjolras was
beginning to feel a bit alarmed. R's surprises tended to be quite extravagant,
to put it gently. “You were so sad and depressed lately – no, don't deny it, we
both know you were – and I was thinking, what could I do to make you feel
better – I mean, but awesome sex – don't laugh at me, I'm being serious here! -
and , well, to put it shortly, I sold some paintings and we're going away for
vacation. I mean, if you want to.”
Enjolras blinked, taken by surprise.
“I thought we were completely broke?” He said. “I mean, last time I checked, we
were on the verge on starving? For, like, last one and a half of the year?”
“We're come back to starving as we come back.” He shrugged again.
“That's...” He blinked again. “That's actually completley illogical. But. Well.
But that's also really great.”
“I knew you'll like the idea.” He smiled again, wounding his arms around
younger boy's neck. “We however can barely afford even going there. Which means
we're going to stay in really shitty place. And by that I mean really, really
shitty. Like mould on the walls and stuff.”
“I don't care.” To his surprise Enjolras started to feel beginnings of
excitement. “It's going to be great.” He kissed him gently, just brush of lips
on lips.
“I found one place, tiny room, basement, but at least almost on the beach. We
could leave just after the end of the school year next week.” He kissed him
again, this time deeper.
“Sounds great.”
The kiss deepended even more, tongues tangling, lips sliding in the wet mess
and clatter of teeth, arms wounding over arms.
Grantaire tangled his hands in gold mess of his boyfriend's hair, and thought
about what was it he did in life to deserve him.
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Stay tuned for the beach porn in upcoming chapter!
     If you like this fic why won't you come say hello on my_tumblr?
***** So here I am, and here it is. I'm sorry. *****
Chapter Summary
     Everything becomes hard, suddenly.
     But there's always a light.
Chapter Notes
     Hello guys.
     First of all – I'm sorry I took so long to update. I know you
     probably don't care but I slipped really bad back into addiction, and
     it all went straight to hell in my life.
     Having mental illness you never know what happens next, right? Yeah.
     So.
     I've been to therapy, resigned, spent some time at home crying into
     my pillow and then applied to art school and got in! I'm gonna
     straighten up my life, which includes regular updates, I promise.
     So. You have all right to come to my house and shoot me. Just, you
     know, plane tickets to Poland are kinda expensive, so please don't
     ruin yourself on killing me, okay?
     All right, I know I'm babbling again so I'll shut up now.
     Enjoy new chapter, I guess?
     TRIGGER WARNING:
     1. mention of mental illness
     2. mention of self harm
     3. mention of drug addiction and recreational drug use
     4. mention of suicidal thoughts
     5. EVERYRTHIG CAN TRIGGER YOU HERE SO PLEASE IF YOU ARE AS FUCKED UP
     AS ME DON'T READ IT AND DON'T MAKE YOURSELF HAVE A BREAKDOWN AND
     SLEEPLESS NIGHT, OKAY? I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND HOPE YOU'RE OKAY.
     This is unbetad, no proofreading and English is not my native
     language so it probably sucks. Sorry.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 The night was dark and cold as September came suddenly and without warning,
unexpected for lovers used to summer sun. Rain was falling almost everyday now
and air was freezing and smelled of autumn coming, made them wear fall coats
and making waking up even more unpleasant in cold air and gray light.
Grantaire knew it was coming from some time, autumn always did it to him, no
matter meds, no matter therapy, even no matter one terrible year he spend it
hospital tied to the bed and sick to his bones, anorectic, depressed, broken.
Everyday it was worse. Waking up was a nightmare, leaving home was almost
impossible, bottles of vodka were so tempting, he had this need to overdose his
meds. He knew it, he understood it, he knew it was coming.
Just... He always was alone, and self-destruction seemed easy, seemed okay,
seemed not to hurt anyone.
But now, with Enjolras, it wasn't so easy to just give up and cross the line.
He loved the boy like he never loved anyone. To be honest he never loved anyone
before, he was used to lead a fast life of accidental sex and no connections.
And love? He always laughed at it. But now, here he was, it hit him hard and he
sold his soul. He would do anything not to hurt Enjolras.
So he woke up in the morning, drunk his bitter coffee and forced a smile, while
inside he felt empty and yearnig for another drink, another shot, another
cigarette.
 
Of course, of course his Apollo wasn't blind. How could he ever think he was?
He looked at him now, huge eyes full of worry, golden locks messed up and
tangled after running hands over and over it.
'R. We need to talk.” His voice was serious, adult-like, but he looked at him
like a hurt child, he was just 19 after all and didn't know what to do, felt so
lost, but tried anway.
Grantaire went closer, running his hands over his boyfriend's arms, trying to
comfort him. He ran his hands over his cheek, thumb over his chapped up lips
(is that the word?), trying to brush off worry from beloved face.
“It's okay, I'm all right.” He tried to force a smile, but dark circles under
his eyes gave him out, just as the fact he was lying in his bed even though he
should've got up an hour earlier and be at work already.
“You're not. I can see things, you know?” He hesitantly ran his hand over R's
hair. “I can see you're a mess, you tried to fight it but you gave up. I can
help. I'm sure I can help.”
“I love you, okay? I really, really love you. You know I don't say it often and
you're the only one I care for.” He closed his eyes, too tired to continue.
“Just... It was always like that. Since I was your age, since I was even
younger. I always felt empty, I always felt... wrong. Broken. Not whole.
You make me whole, you make me... feel, finally, not pain, finally.
But I just can't do it anymore.”
“Then you won't.” Enjolras' voice was full of force he never heard before.
“You'll take a break in your work. I will take a break at my studies. I will
take care of you.
No drinking, no drugs, no easy escape. No more. You have me.”
R stared at him in disbelief.
“You will just paint, just do what you feel you can do. Easy steps, okay? I
will help you.”
“But you love your studies.” He tried weakly, but failed, he knew he failed.
“But I love someone more.” He smiled, sudden honest smile, brightening the day.
“And you know what? It's you.”
They kissed, sealing the deal in silence.
It was going to be okay, it was all going to be okay, they just didn't know
that yet.
 
Chapter End Notes
     So that was kinda sad, but I promise more light in next chapter, and
     promised beach sex!
End Notes
     Thanks for reading! All feedback is appreciated, and I love
     constructive critic so please speak up!
     I have tumblr! HERE!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
